One week later, I'm back in the waiting room of Dr. Mason's office. My name is called and I'm taken to one of the rooms to wait. As I sit there with my wife, I'm pondering thoughts of prostatitis because I don't want to hear the "c" word. I'd rather it be just an infection and have a bottle of antibiotics to pick up at the pharm.
Ten minutes go by - and then there's the knock on the door. In walks Dr. Mason who sticks out his hand to shake mine and he says, "You tested positive." "Positive?" I think to myself. "You mean positive as in 'good'?" No, he meant positive as I have prostate cancer! Fear and anxiety began to swell within me as he began explaining how he knows exactly how I feel since he experienced the same thing. Yes, you read right - Dr. Mason, my urologist is also a prostate cancer survivor!
As he began to attempt to comfort us and explain about the different surgical procedures, I gaze at my wife's eyes as they begin to fill with water and moisten her face. Being a guy, I'm holding back as much as I can as I feel a growing fear within me. We then make arrangements to meet with Dr. Mason again and head home. As my wife and I talk during the ride, all I could think of is her and the kids. I'm not a fatalist, but this kind of experience can make you one - even in the least bit! When we arrive home, I head upstairs to our walk-in closet where we have a small easy chair. I closed the bathroom and closet doors and sat down. And that's when I lost it! Man, I've never felt that way ever in my life. I felt so drained of strength, emotional and physical, that I just stayed there for the next hour or so shedding almost endless tears.
Later, after my wife fed the kids, she came upstairs and entered the closet. She asked me how I was doing. I broke down again. Then she broke down with me. We cried together and believe it or not that was the first step in getting my strength back. I will go into more details about this on a later post, but there is nothing like having the right, specific wife to be by your side and in your life!!! In His providence, God gave me the exact person that I need and He strategically planned it that way! My road to recovery began way before surgery. Because of her, I found out bit by bit that there was more to prostate cancer than I thought. She soon began to exhaust our internet service by doing tons of research on surgical procedures, nutrition, cause and prevention. But remember, God's divine providence is quite active in our lives and keeps unfolding right before our very eyes!
