There's a phrase going around about prostate cancer diagnosis which is "watchful waiting." In other words, don't really do anything about it for now. Just wait and keep checking on it to see if it gets worse. That's a bad move - to not move at all!!! Remember, prostate cancer is slow-growing in its early stages as long as it is contained within the prostate. But, it is growing.
In October 2007, the first week, I had the gracious opportunity to give my testimony at church twice - first during our Wednesday night Bible study and then Saturday during a monthly Men's fellowship. At the Men's fellowship (which is every first Saturday) we also had our annual free men's prostate screening following the service - which is how I was diagnosed in 2006!!! I found out later that a few brothers had high PSA numbers. One of them introduced himself to me at another men's Bible study group that I attend on Monday nights. He told me that he was tested the year before and had a high PSA result but didn't do anything about it. I told him, "That's not good." He went on to say that he was still waiting on the results from the '07 screening and that he really enjoyed my testimony. About a week later he grabbed me and said, "I got my results back. I'm in trouble." I told him, "No you're not. Let's talk." I shared with him more information and directed him to read my blog for more details and doctor info. The last time I spoke with him he told me that he had his biopsy done and the results were positive. His next step was to speak with the doctor about surgical options and he was very interested in the robotic procedure.
The brother could be in far worse shape, but the point is this: DON'T PUT IT OFF, BROTHERS!!!!! Get yourself tested! Early detection is a blessing! Being tested positive is only a negative if you wait too long!!! Make that doctor's appointment and MAN-UP to take the finger (digital exam) and the needle (PSA)!!! PEACE!!!
1.11.2008
Part Fourteen: The Right Perspective, pt. 2
In a previous post (Part Five) I talked about having the "right perspective" when trials and tests come to basically invade our comfort zones. I addressed the question "Why Me?" and how the better, more divine focus should make us ask "Why NOT Me?"
To really hone in on the exact purpose for trials, tests, and even temptations, it's good to look at Paul's assessment as he and other followers of CHRIST were persecuted and made to suffer for what they believed in even though they did nothing wrong. We think our trials are bad - try constantly being sentenced to death and always being sought after to be executed for what you believe to be the truth! With all that in mind, Paul told the disciples in Corinth, Greece in his second letter to them that "... we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself."(1:8) But then, he hits the nail on the head and explains the reason for going through it all: "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on GOD Who raises the dead!"(v.9) That's the right perspective!!! In fact, that's reality - whether I perceive it or not!
So, for the follower of CHRIST - is your trial or test an attack from the enemy or negative circumstances, or are you being "pruned" to bear fruit or rather "broken to serve" in order to rely totally on the One Who saved you in order to use you? For we are His workmanship, created in CHRIST JESUS for good works, which GOD prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:10
For the non-Christian - is your trial or negative experience a result of bad luck or bad karma, or is this the time and opportunity given to you to realize that life is not about you? There is someone who is absolute and far greater than your experiences who can not only solve your problems, but is Himself the solution to everything! His peace is that which passes understanding - incomprehensible by human knowledge because it is a peace that lives in the hearts of men even when circumstances haven't changed. I know what you're asking: "Why does God have to afflict me or anyone else to get my attention to surrender to His will? Why can't he just tell me?" Maybe He has. How many times have you heard the Gospel?
JESUS is LORD, and I am not!!! He is the Shepherd - I am but a sheep, lost without His authority, wisdom, guidance, truth, and peace! Robotic prostatectomy didn't save me. Early detection didn't spare me. It is the Sovereignty and Providence of The Almighty Lord JESUS Who strategically orchestrated it all so that I would have the perfect wife to encourage me to be medically responsible and get myself checked and then to get checked when I did before it got any worse!!! That's divine providence! That's grace and mercy!!! There is no luck! For from Him and through HIM and to HIM are all things. To HIM be glory forever. Amen! - Romans 11:36
To really hone in on the exact purpose for trials, tests, and even temptations, it's good to look at Paul's assessment as he and other followers of CHRIST were persecuted and made to suffer for what they believed in even though they did nothing wrong. We think our trials are bad - try constantly being sentenced to death and always being sought after to be executed for what you believe to be the truth! With all that in mind, Paul told the disciples in Corinth, Greece in his second letter to them that "... we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself."(1:8) But then, he hits the nail on the head and explains the reason for going through it all: "Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on GOD Who raises the dead!"(v.9) That's the right perspective!!! In fact, that's reality - whether I perceive it or not!
So, for the follower of CHRIST - is your trial or test an attack from the enemy or negative circumstances, or are you being "pruned" to bear fruit or rather "broken to serve" in order to rely totally on the One Who saved you in order to use you? For we are His workmanship, created in CHRIST JESUS for good works, which GOD prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. - Ephesians 2:10
For the non-Christian - is your trial or negative experience a result of bad luck or bad karma, or is this the time and opportunity given to you to realize that life is not about you? There is someone who is absolute and far greater than your experiences who can not only solve your problems, but is Himself the solution to everything! His peace is that which passes understanding - incomprehensible by human knowledge because it is a peace that lives in the hearts of men even when circumstances haven't changed. I know what you're asking: "Why does God have to afflict me or anyone else to get my attention to surrender to His will? Why can't he just tell me?" Maybe He has. How many times have you heard the Gospel?
JESUS is LORD, and I am not!!! He is the Shepherd - I am but a sheep, lost without His authority, wisdom, guidance, truth, and peace! Robotic prostatectomy didn't save me. Early detection didn't spare me. It is the Sovereignty and Providence of The Almighty Lord JESUS Who strategically orchestrated it all so that I would have the perfect wife to encourage me to be medically responsible and get myself checked and then to get checked when I did before it got any worse!!! That's divine providence! That's grace and mercy!!! There is no luck! For from Him and through HIM and to HIM are all things. To HIM be glory forever. Amen! - Romans 11:36
1.09.2008
Part Thirteen: PSA - post surgery
It's about 4 weeks out from surgery around the end of January and time to get my blood checked at UT. Now, the goal is to have almost nothing show up since the surgery removed the entire prostate, and with it, the cancer. To be more specific, the PSA number should read "equal to or less than" 0.05. One week later the results came back at 0.09, which is above the expected result. The doctor (Roerhborn) assured me that this is normal since I'm only about a month out of surgery and it takes time for the blood stream to be cleared of the protein which gives off the reading of the PSA number. He tells me to check back in another 4 weeks or so to see if it's lower, same, or higher. A rapid increase in the number indicates that cancer has spread to other parts of the body and further treatment is necessary.
Speaking of further treatment, my wife and I thought that it would be wise to do research to see if this was necessary. She spoke with an oncologist, who we met through a church member, to get advice on this. She was told that it would be wise and was referred to another one at a different hospital. We made the appointment and drove there when the day came. The oncologist received the data on me a made his assessment. Now, I have to explain something: One of the things that the data revealed is that I have what's called "positive margins" meaning that there is prostatic tissue that remains inside me where the prostate was which may (or may not) contain cancer cells. These cancer cells can become dormant and die off or grow. Knowing this, the doctor recommended that I should immediately start radiation and hormone treatment. Now, understand this - whatever state I was in at this time regarding continence or anything else in that area would be locked in with no chance of physical improvement, healing of nerves, etc. Plus, hormone treatment would cause such side effects like hot flashes, tenderness in the breasts (yeah, you read right), and etc. again. Think of it as early menopause for men (yikes)! We left and thought about it for a few days. Dr. Roerhborn received the oncologist's recommendation for me in his office and was "furious!!!" He told us later that he immediately sent him an email asking him why in the world would he recommend treatment with only 1 PSA reading right after surgery!!!??? By the way, he told us this when I went back a few weeks later after my second PSA result which was "less than or equal to" 0.05 which is undetectable!!! Praise the LORD!!!!!
We then found out that the first hospital (Methodist), where I had the biopsy, gets PSA results out to the thousandths, called "ultra sensitive," whereas the normal PSA readings are out to the hundredths. We went back there and requested their reading. One week later the results came back and it read 0.008!!! We gave this reading to Dr. Roerhborn and he was floored at the number and exclaimed, "That's pretty d@#m low." We laughed as he followed that with a modest, "Excuse me." He then went on to vent about why in the world would the oncologist recommend that I get treatment (with its side effects) after only 1 PSA reading when I may not even need to go through all of that!
I kept going back to both UT and Methodist for PSA readings every 2-3 months as was needed. The UT readings remained the same! At Methodist, the "ultra sensitive" reading jumped up just a little with 0.012. However this is still below the normal reading and remains in the "undetectable" range!!! Dr. Roehrborn stated that with the ultra sensitive readings you'll get a few "ticks" of variation in the reading, especially in the thousandths place, so there's no need for alarm. Next reading, around late July 07, my reading was 0.011. The urologist at Methodist told me, "You're doing good. I'll see you again in 6 months!" So, spreading out my visits for the PSA blood test is a good sign!
Speaking of further treatment, my wife and I thought that it would be wise to do research to see if this was necessary. She spoke with an oncologist, who we met through a church member, to get advice on this. She was told that it would be wise and was referred to another one at a different hospital. We made the appointment and drove there when the day came. The oncologist received the data on me a made his assessment. Now, I have to explain something: One of the things that the data revealed is that I have what's called "positive margins" meaning that there is prostatic tissue that remains inside me where the prostate was which may (or may not) contain cancer cells. These cancer cells can become dormant and die off or grow. Knowing this, the doctor recommended that I should immediately start radiation and hormone treatment. Now, understand this - whatever state I was in at this time regarding continence or anything else in that area would be locked in with no chance of physical improvement, healing of nerves, etc. Plus, hormone treatment would cause such side effects like hot flashes, tenderness in the breasts (yeah, you read right), and etc. again. Think of it as early menopause for men (yikes)! We left and thought about it for a few days. Dr. Roerhborn received the oncologist's recommendation for me in his office and was "furious!!!" He told us later that he immediately sent him an email asking him why in the world would he recommend treatment with only 1 PSA reading right after surgery!!!??? By the way, he told us this when I went back a few weeks later after my second PSA result which was "less than or equal to" 0.05 which is undetectable!!! Praise the LORD!!!!!
We then found out that the first hospital (Methodist), where I had the biopsy, gets PSA results out to the thousandths, called "ultra sensitive," whereas the normal PSA readings are out to the hundredths. We went back there and requested their reading. One week later the results came back and it read 0.008!!! We gave this reading to Dr. Roerhborn and he was floored at the number and exclaimed, "That's pretty d@#m low." We laughed as he followed that with a modest, "Excuse me." He then went on to vent about why in the world would the oncologist recommend that I get treatment (with its side effects) after only 1 PSA reading when I may not even need to go through all of that!
I kept going back to both UT and Methodist for PSA readings every 2-3 months as was needed. The UT readings remained the same! At Methodist, the "ultra sensitive" reading jumped up just a little with 0.012. However this is still below the normal reading and remains in the "undetectable" range!!! Dr. Roehrborn stated that with the ultra sensitive readings you'll get a few "ticks" of variation in the reading, especially in the thousandths place, so there's no need for alarm. Next reading, around late July 07, my reading was 0.011. The urologist at Methodist told me, "You're doing good. I'll see you again in 6 months!" So, spreading out my visits for the PSA blood test is a good sign!
1.08.2008
Part Twelve: Recovery, pt. 2
Well, it's December 29, 2006, again, and I'm at home recuperating. The first week goes really well. I make sure that I have that big 40-ounce hospital cup sitting on my nightstand filled with water. I go through about 4-5 of those a day. It's impotant to do this so that the surgical area (mainly the bladder) is constantly being cleaned out. Not to be gross, but there is blood in urine and this is common. That's why is important to drink lots and lots of water to clean the bladder out and avoid blod clots and other impurities. My sweet wife was constantly emptying my catheter bag and bringing me more water and cooking me the best, healthy meals which she brought to me in bed. My sweet, sweet mom came by later a few times to check on me and help out, as well. Even my kids would come in and bring food and other things I needed. They would spend time with me and watch movies. Through all of this they remained calm as I rested and healed - and my youngest is about to turn 4!
On Friday, January 5, 2007, it's time to take a trip back to the hospital (UT Southwestern) to have the catheter removed. Thank GOD!!!!! The doctor told me that while I have the catheter in I would have a constant feeling of having to go to the bathroom. And I did! It was uncomfortable, but not painful. The nurse told me to lie back on the table as she did what one of the doctors did after my surgery - take a huge syringe and inject saline solution through the tube which went into my bladder (that weird feeling again!). Then she tells me to take a deep breath as she prepares to pull the tube out. She asked me, "Are you ready? Then take a deep breath..." Just as I begin to inhale she quickly pulls the tube out (weird feeling yet again) and tells me to hold the fluid and stand up. It is now time for me to "pee" in a square plastic container to test my continence. This is why the Kegal excersices are so important before surgery. As she had her back turned she said, "Ok, start peeing...now stop..." I did this about 3 times before emptying my bladder and demonstrated that my "muscles" are in tip-top shape! Now, I have to mention that I did wear the "man pads" for a while - just in case. I did experience from time to time what one of my doctors described as "stress incontinence." This is where you may have small leakage after getting up from a chair too fast or laughing too hard. This was quite minimal though. I was concerned as to how long I would need to wear the pads and if they would show through my dress slacks and jeans. Well they're pretty well hidden and kind of comfortable for a while. I wore them for about 5-6 weeks and decided one day to go cold-turkey and told myself that I would stop wearing them and see how I would do. I have to say that I did good and I'm very thankful that I was able to stop wearing them.
I returned home to continue to heal for the next 4 weeks. As I mentioned before, I'm very blessed and thankful to have a supportive job which allowed me to heal in the time needed and even work from home when necessary on a laptop. Speaking of time, another blessing is that since I haven't used a lot of sick time, I had about 25-27 days of sick time that I had earned and never had to use any vacation or personal time!!! I've learned that it's very important to give thanks for "everything," whether small or great! As I returned to work, I was able to take my time and come back slowly and work part time until I was comfortable enough and ready to come back in full. At this time, it's still important for me to get plenty of rest because there's lots of time needed to heal. The beauty and blessing in all of this is that I'm not only able to rest my body to heal but also my mind. Having a great, loving wife and a great job from the Lord allowed me to not have to worry about anything which supercharged the healing process and I'm very, very, very thankful for that!!!
On Friday, January 5, 2007, it's time to take a trip back to the hospital (UT Southwestern) to have the catheter removed. Thank GOD!!!!! The doctor told me that while I have the catheter in I would have a constant feeling of having to go to the bathroom. And I did! It was uncomfortable, but not painful. The nurse told me to lie back on the table as she did what one of the doctors did after my surgery - take a huge syringe and inject saline solution through the tube which went into my bladder (that weird feeling again!). Then she tells me to take a deep breath as she prepares to pull the tube out. She asked me, "Are you ready? Then take a deep breath..." Just as I begin to inhale she quickly pulls the tube out (weird feeling yet again) and tells me to hold the fluid and stand up. It is now time for me to "pee" in a square plastic container to test my continence. This is why the Kegal excersices are so important before surgery. As she had her back turned she said, "Ok, start peeing...now stop..." I did this about 3 times before emptying my bladder and demonstrated that my "muscles" are in tip-top shape! Now, I have to mention that I did wear the "man pads" for a while - just in case. I did experience from time to time what one of my doctors described as "stress incontinence." This is where you may have small leakage after getting up from a chair too fast or laughing too hard. This was quite minimal though. I was concerned as to how long I would need to wear the pads and if they would show through my dress slacks and jeans. Well they're pretty well hidden and kind of comfortable for a while. I wore them for about 5-6 weeks and decided one day to go cold-turkey and told myself that I would stop wearing them and see how I would do. I have to say that I did good and I'm very thankful that I was able to stop wearing them.
I returned home to continue to heal for the next 4 weeks. As I mentioned before, I'm very blessed and thankful to have a supportive job which allowed me to heal in the time needed and even work from home when necessary on a laptop. Speaking of time, another blessing is that since I haven't used a lot of sick time, I had about 25-27 days of sick time that I had earned and never had to use any vacation or personal time!!! I've learned that it's very important to give thanks for "everything," whether small or great! As I returned to work, I was able to take my time and come back slowly and work part time until I was comfortable enough and ready to come back in full. At this time, it's still important for me to get plenty of rest because there's lots of time needed to heal. The beauty and blessing in all of this is that I'm not only able to rest my body to heal but also my mind. Having a great, loving wife and a great job from the Lord allowed me to not have to worry about anything which supercharged the healing process and I'm very, very, very thankful for that!!!
10.09.2007
Part Eleven: Operation Day - and Recovery, pt. 1
It's early Thursday morning, December 28, 2006
My wife and I make our way to UT Southwestern, Zale Lipshy Building. We make it there around 6am-ish and I get checked in. Then it's on to the waiting area to listen for my name. I've been to hospital waiting areas quite a few times, but never as the patient! After I give my name the young lady at the desk informs me that someone arrived earlier asking for me. She then pointed to an elderly man who I recognize as one of my co-workers at First Baptist Dallas. An FBD associate pastor was there to pray with me before my surgery. What a surprise to see him there! Now I'm sure that he does this with most church members/faculty, but it was still comforting for him to get up very early in the morning (he beat me there), find out where my surgery was going to be and meet me to pray for a successful surgery!
My mother was there with my wife and I as I was called to the back to prepare for surgery. I changed my arrival clothes to put on the surgical threads which included a cool headpiece and foot covers (don't know the actual names). A couple of nurses came in to check my vitals again and soon after I kissed my wife and mom and laid back on the bed. I got another kiss from my beautiful wife as they rolled me down the hall into the operating room. I was little nervous, but not too much. By this time I feel a strong peace about the whole thing. I can't help but rest on the sovereignty of Almighty God and trust in His mercy as He heard my prayers and the prayers of my wife, mom, and other saints lifting me up! I also began to reflect more on all that the Lord has done for me all my life from the beginning up until this point - and I don't mean just general stuff! My life is filled with grace and mercy, in spite of my foolishness!!! I have far too much to be thankful for!
As I come to a stop in the operating room, I briefly notice a large machine which I find out later that it's the da Vinci (robotic laparoscopic machine). Notice I said briefly - that's the last thing I remember at this point!
The next thing I'm aware of is slowly waking up in the recovery area. Thinking about it now, it seemed like about 10 minutes. Actually it's about 4 hours later! As I slowly and sluggishly open my eyes, listening to the chatter of the nurses around me, the first thought that comes to my mind is: "Oh...I guess they're finished." I then closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I felt very rested and absolutely no pain - praise the LORD!!!
Then, I guess about an hour later, I'm being rolled to my hospital room. I'm quite sluggish but I recognize my wife, mom, sister, neice, and my boss, Lori. By the way, my boss had been there since I was in surgery - I told you that I love my job, right? My co-workers, especially in my department (but not limited to) are my extended family!
I began to be more and more in tune with my body and the state I was in when I noticed the catheter! It wasn't painful at all, just uncomfortable. The doctor told me that I would have a constant feeling of needing to "go" with the catheter in me. He wasn't kidding! Later on, when most of my family left me and the wife, I lifted the covers to check out my scars. I had four small scars (two on each side of my belly) where the cameras and tools were inserted to perform the surgery and one larger scar around the left side of my navel. This is where a vacuum tube was inserted to pull out my prostate. Again, I want to stress the fact that I was in no pain at all! I was also wearing stockings that generated a pulsating vibration to encourage circulation in my legs in order to prevent and blood clotting. A few other doctors and nurses came in and out to check on me to see how I was doing. Some of them were students working on their residency (by the way, if you don't know by now the "UT" stands for University of Texas). One of the guys did something I'll never forget. He unhooked the tube on the catheter from the "container" and inserted a large, clear syringe filled with saline. He said it was to make sure that I didn't have any blood clots in my bladder and urethra. He wasted no time when he said, "This will feel weird." He pushed the saline through the tube connected to me and then pulled in the other direction to remove the saline to reveal the results. He said, "No blood clots. You're looking good!" I said, "Cool." But, when he did that, he was right when he said that it would feel weird! That was probably the weirdest thing I've ever felt! My eyes bulged as I thought, "Whoa!" It didn't hurt, just felt...weird.
Later on they bring me my first meal - good old chicken broth, jello, and juice! Yum. Hey, I just had surgery, so I needed to take it easy. Nothing solid just yet. This was not only for my stomach but also for the stool. One of the prescriptions that I had was a stood softener. Remember, I just had my prostate removed. The prostate sits right below the bladder - on top of the bottom of the lower intestine! Trust me: You don't want to be constipated now!!! I'm in no pain, but that entire area is very, very tender.
One of my old high school buddies, Terry, surprised me with a visit. I hadn't seen him in years. He was told about me by his cousin, Ed, who I told about my condition and upcoming surgery at church a week prior. It was really good to see him. We were like brothers back in the day, even after high school. Then, one of my first cousins, Dwight, stopped by to see me, as well.
Later on, my surgeon, Dr. Claus Roerhborn, stops by to check on me and give me a report on the surgery. I love the way he put it: "It was exquisite!" That was really a blessing to hear. Another younger doctor stopped by who assisted Dr. Roehrborn and told me that one of the reasons the surgery went so great was that my organs were in the right place - almost perfect! Yes, the Lord is gracious!!!!! Then the nurse came in and informed me that I will need to get out of bed and start moving around very soon to keep my circulation in tact. By now it is about 6pm-ish and I'm helped out of bed and into one of the chairs. Minutes later, I notice that I start to get very light-headed, so much so that I feel like I'm about to pass out! This really worries me! I tell my wife this and she buzzes the nurse. They come in and help get me back in bed. The nurse checks my blood pressure and it's really low and that's very odd for me because I have borderline hypertension. My temperature is checked and I'm running a fever of about 104! This scares me but as I lay in the bed, in about 30 minutes to an hour, I slowly begin to get better. Blood pressure rises back up to normal and temperature drops down to the same. This is simply side effects of the anesthesia and doesn't happen again. Later on, I receive another meal, but it's a little more solid this time! And quite good I might add!
The next morning, I begin to slowly get out of bed and walk a bit. I'm not doing too bad if I should say so myself. Again, no pain, just the uncomfortable feeling of the dreaded catheter. By the way, my urine is quite red-ish because of the blood. This is a normal result of surgery. I'm encouraged to drink lots and lots of water which will clear it up. I have no problem with that. They give me one of those 40-ounce hospital cups with the built-in straw. I emptied that thing quite frequently! Before I know it, it's approximately 6pm-ish on December 29 and I'm going home. Yep, you read right! I had the robotic-assisted laparoscopic prostatectomy procedure and I'm going home the next evening! I head to the bathroom to get dressed (pajamas and robe), say goodbye to the nurses who provided the best comfort (one of them was from my old neighborhood that I grew up in!), hopped in the wheel chair and headed downstairs to the van. We arrived home safely by the grace of God. I have a two-story home so you can picture me walking sideways up the stairs very carefully.
Let me make it very clear again that I'm very, very thankful to the Lord for His sovereign grace. The surgery was great and now I'm recovering well with no problems. I get myself situated in my bed with my big water cup on my nightstand along with my Bible. As much as I love the Word and the study of theology, I have to admit I don't read it enough. Now's the opportunity to use my recovery time wisely and get into it more than I've done before! But, you know, that's just what the Lord will do. He can put you on your back in order to put you on your face in reverence to Him. I have no excuse not to make valuable time for the study of His Holy Word.
I also take time to enjoy reading other books and watching some of my favorite movies. I love action and sci-fi! My wife told me in the hospital that while I'm at home recovering she'll watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy with me!!! Let me fill you in: Before she said that she didn't want to watch it because she stated "it seems way too violent for me." Now, my wife likes action movies like me, but I guess she has her limits compared to my tastes. I told her many times before that she'll love it and it's more than just fighting - it's a great story and the cinematography is outstanding! It's my favorite movie!!! So much so that I purchased the extended edition set!!! I was excited when she told me that she'd watch it with me. The funny thing is that after each part she exclaimed, "Wow! I can't wait for the next part!" When we finished the whole trilogy (about 5 days later) she said, "That was really good! I want to watch it again!!!" I responded, "I told you you'd love it!"
Did I mention that I love my wife???!!!!! She's so much fun and I'm glad she's in my life!!! She took care of me way better than any nurse could and my super kids did a super job showing daddy some major love! They helped mommy and me with whatever I needed! They're the best!!!
My wife and I make our way to UT Southwestern, Zale Lipshy Building. We make it there around 6am-ish and I get checked in. Then it's on to the waiting area to listen for my name. I've been to hospital waiting areas quite a few times, but never as the patient! After I give my name the young lady at the desk informs me that someone arrived earlier asking for me. She then pointed to an elderly man who I recognize as one of my co-workers at First Baptist Dallas. An FBD associate pastor was there to pray with me before my surgery. What a surprise to see him there! Now I'm sure that he does this with most church members/faculty, but it was still comforting for him to get up very early in the morning (he beat me there), find out where my surgery was going to be and meet me to pray for a successful surgery!
My mother was there with my wife and I as I was called to the back to prepare for surgery. I changed my arrival clothes to put on the surgical threads which included a cool headpiece and foot covers (don't know the actual names). A couple of nurses came in to check my vitals again and soon after I kissed my wife and mom and laid back on the bed. I got another kiss from my beautiful wife as they rolled me down the hall into the operating room. I was little nervous, but not too much. By this time I feel a strong peace about the whole thing. I can't help but rest on the sovereignty of Almighty God and trust in His mercy as He heard my prayers and the prayers of my wife, mom, and other saints lifting me up! I also began to reflect more on all that the Lord has done for me all my life from the beginning up until this point - and I don't mean just general stuff! My life is filled with grace and mercy, in spite of my foolishness!!! I have far too much to be thankful for!
As I come to a stop in the operating room, I briefly notice a large machine which I find out later that it's the da Vinci (robotic laparoscopic machine). Notice I said briefly - that's the last thing I remember at this point!
The next thing I'm aware of is slowly waking up in the recovery area. Thinking about it now, it seemed like about 10 minutes. Actually it's about 4 hours later! As I slowly and sluggishly open my eyes, listening to the chatter of the nurses around me, the first thought that comes to my mind is: "Oh...I guess they're finished." I then closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I felt very rested and absolutely no pain - praise the LORD!!!
Then, I guess about an hour later, I'm being rolled to my hospital room. I'm quite sluggish but I recognize my wife, mom, sister, neice, and my boss, Lori. By the way, my boss had been there since I was in surgery - I told you that I love my job, right? My co-workers, especially in my department (but not limited to) are my extended family!
I began to be more and more in tune with my body and the state I was in when I noticed the catheter! It wasn't painful at all, just uncomfortable. The doctor told me that I would have a constant feeling of needing to "go" with the catheter in me. He wasn't kidding! Later on, when most of my family left me and the wife, I lifted the covers to check out my scars. I had four small scars (two on each side of my belly) where the cameras and tools were inserted to perform the surgery and one larger scar around the left side of my navel. This is where a vacuum tube was inserted to pull out my prostate. Again, I want to stress the fact that I was in no pain at all! I was also wearing stockings that generated a pulsating vibration to encourage circulation in my legs in order to prevent and blood clotting. A few other doctors and nurses came in and out to check on me to see how I was doing. Some of them were students working on their residency (by the way, if you don't know by now the "UT" stands for University of Texas). One of the guys did something I'll never forget. He unhooked the tube on the catheter from the "container" and inserted a large, clear syringe filled with saline. He said it was to make sure that I didn't have any blood clots in my bladder and urethra. He wasted no time when he said, "This will feel weird." He pushed the saline through the tube connected to me and then pulled in the other direction to remove the saline to reveal the results. He said, "No blood clots. You're looking good!" I said, "Cool." But, when he did that, he was right when he said that it would feel weird! That was probably the weirdest thing I've ever felt! My eyes bulged as I thought, "Whoa!" It didn't hurt, just felt...weird.
Later on they bring me my first meal - good old chicken broth, jello, and juice! Yum. Hey, I just had surgery, so I needed to take it easy. Nothing solid just yet. This was not only for my stomach but also for the stool. One of the prescriptions that I had was a stood softener. Remember, I just had my prostate removed. The prostate sits right below the bladder - on top of the bottom of the lower intestine! Trust me: You don't want to be constipated now!!! I'm in no pain, but that entire area is very, very tender.
One of my old high school buddies, Terry, surprised me with a visit. I hadn't seen him in years. He was told about me by his cousin, Ed, who I told about my condition and upcoming surgery at church a week prior. It was really good to see him. We were like brothers back in the day, even after high school. Then, one of my first cousins, Dwight, stopped by to see me, as well.
Later on, my surgeon, Dr. Claus Roerhborn, stops by to check on me and give me a report on the surgery. I love the way he put it: "It was exquisite!" That was really a blessing to hear. Another younger doctor stopped by who assisted Dr. Roehrborn and told me that one of the reasons the surgery went so great was that my organs were in the right place - almost perfect! Yes, the Lord is gracious!!!!! Then the nurse came in and informed me that I will need to get out of bed and start moving around very soon to keep my circulation in tact. By now it is about 6pm-ish and I'm helped out of bed and into one of the chairs. Minutes later, I notice that I start to get very light-headed, so much so that I feel like I'm about to pass out! This really worries me! I tell my wife this and she buzzes the nurse. They come in and help get me back in bed. The nurse checks my blood pressure and it's really low and that's very odd for me because I have borderline hypertension. My temperature is checked and I'm running a fever of about 104! This scares me but as I lay in the bed, in about 30 minutes to an hour, I slowly begin to get better. Blood pressure rises back up to normal and temperature drops down to the same. This is simply side effects of the anesthesia and doesn't happen again. Later on, I receive another meal, but it's a little more solid this time! And quite good I might add!
The next morning, I begin to slowly get out of bed and walk a bit. I'm not doing too bad if I should say so myself. Again, no pain, just the uncomfortable feeling of the dreaded catheter. By the way, my urine is quite red-ish because of the blood. This is a normal result of surgery. I'm encouraged to drink lots and lots of water which will clear it up. I have no problem with that. They give me one of those 40-ounce hospital cups with the built-in straw. I emptied that thing quite frequently! Before I know it, it's approximately 6pm-ish on December 29 and I'm going home. Yep, you read right! I had the robotic-assisted laparoscopic prostatectomy procedure and I'm going home the next evening! I head to the bathroom to get dressed (pajamas and robe), say goodbye to the nurses who provided the best comfort (one of them was from my old neighborhood that I grew up in!), hopped in the wheel chair and headed downstairs to the van. We arrived home safely by the grace of God. I have a two-story home so you can picture me walking sideways up the stairs very carefully.
Let me make it very clear again that I'm very, very thankful to the Lord for His sovereign grace. The surgery was great and now I'm recovering well with no problems. I get myself situated in my bed with my big water cup on my nightstand along with my Bible. As much as I love the Word and the study of theology, I have to admit I don't read it enough. Now's the opportunity to use my recovery time wisely and get into it more than I've done before! But, you know, that's just what the Lord will do. He can put you on your back in order to put you on your face in reverence to Him. I have no excuse not to make valuable time for the study of His Holy Word.
I also take time to enjoy reading other books and watching some of my favorite movies. I love action and sci-fi! My wife told me in the hospital that while I'm at home recovering she'll watch The Lord of the Rings trilogy with me!!! Let me fill you in: Before she said that she didn't want to watch it because she stated "it seems way too violent for me." Now, my wife likes action movies like me, but I guess she has her limits compared to my tastes. I told her many times before that she'll love it and it's more than just fighting - it's a great story and the cinematography is outstanding! It's my favorite movie!!! So much so that I purchased the extended edition set!!! I was excited when she told me that she'd watch it with me. The funny thing is that after each part she exclaimed, "Wow! I can't wait for the next part!" When we finished the whole trilogy (about 5 days later) she said, "That was really good! I want to watch it again!!!" I responded, "I told you you'd love it!"
Did I mention that I love my wife???!!!!! She's so much fun and I'm glad she's in my life!!! She took care of me way better than any nurse could and my super kids did a super job showing daddy some major love! They helped mommy and me with whatever I needed! They're the best!!!
10.05.2007
Part Ten: The Pre-Op
It's the third week in December 2006 - a few days from surgery. It's time for the pre-op! "Pre-operation" for those unfamiliar with the abbreviated term. Now, let me remind you: I've never had to go to the hospital for any type of surgical procedure whatsoever! First, I had to take off my shirt and have the nurse stick numerous wires to my upper torso to give me an EKG. Technology is amazing in this day and age. The machine she used only took approximately a minute to check my vitals. By the grace of God, I checked out fine. I was a little concerned because I know I'm not the healthiest guy on the block. For those who are not familiar with this type of procedure, it's necessary to check your vital signs to make sure that there are no other physical complications going on inside of you. Sometimes, depending on what else may be wrong, the doctor(s) can't operate until other issues are taken care of. I had a co-worker go to the doctor earlier this year to have a hernia removed. When they did his EKG they noticed that a few valves in his heart contained major blockage and instead of hernia surgery he ended up having open-heart surgery! That's why the pre-op is the routine thing to do!
Cynthia and I asked about the anesthesiologist who was recommended as one of the best and we were able to meet with him briefly. I had heard about how most post-surgery patients have symptoms of nausea and headaches because of the anesthesia administered to them during the operation. He explained the reason why is because of the use of medicinal "narcotics" in the anesthesia which he only uses when needed. He rarely uses them and is known for providing one of the most painless experiences in the operating room and post-surgery. We requested him right on the spot and he accepted as he jotted down my name and surgery date.
Now, check this out! As we spoke with the main nurse who would be assisting the surgeon, I asked her a serious question. I asked, "What's the youngest age of men that you've seen come through this hospital to be treated for prostate cancer?" She replied, "35." I know what you're thinking...that's very young, especially when normally it is a concern for men 50 years or older! Remember, I was diagnosed at 41 (no telling how long I've had it). But, 35? Man, that's a shocker! That's why I'm spreading the word and encouraging more guys to get checked - even before the age of 40! Her response stayed on my mind for a long time. It was almost hard to believe.
As the day drew closer and as education concerning my diagnosis increased, I began to lose my fear of surgery through much prayer and with my wife by my side!
Cynthia and I asked about the anesthesiologist who was recommended as one of the best and we were able to meet with him briefly. I had heard about how most post-surgery patients have symptoms of nausea and headaches because of the anesthesia administered to them during the operation. He explained the reason why is because of the use of medicinal "narcotics" in the anesthesia which he only uses when needed. He rarely uses them and is known for providing one of the most painless experiences in the operating room and post-surgery. We requested him right on the spot and he accepted as he jotted down my name and surgery date.
Now, check this out! As we spoke with the main nurse who would be assisting the surgeon, I asked her a serious question. I asked, "What's the youngest age of men that you've seen come through this hospital to be treated for prostate cancer?" She replied, "35." I know what you're thinking...that's very young, especially when normally it is a concern for men 50 years or older! Remember, I was diagnosed at 41 (no telling how long I've had it). But, 35? Man, that's a shocker! That's why I'm spreading the word and encouraging more guys to get checked - even before the age of 40! Her response stayed on my mind for a long time. It was almost hard to believe.
As the day drew closer and as education concerning my diagnosis increased, I began to lose my fear of surgery through much prayer and with my wife by my side!
Part Nine: The Best WIFE In The Whole World!
As the title states - I have the best wife in the whole wide world! You know, many men say that about there wives, and they mean it. But, this is different. I run out of words trying to express how I feel in my heart how much my darling, loving, unselfish, giving, sacrificing, precious, beautiful WIFE means to me!!! Cynthia is for me the poster child of Proverbs 31:10-31! If the phrase "Excellent Wife" was a dictionary term, her face would be in the margin as a visual example.
First of all, getting married to her made a man out of me! I slowly began to grow through much trial and error - my own, of course. I've learned so much from the Lord through her - mainly how irresponsible I've been and how much of a God-ly man I need to be for her because she needs it and deserves it! And let me tell you that I'm far from perfect!
It is because of her I actually have a doctor! Let's be honest -- most men don't like going to the doctor and actually don't go! If a man's left arm is hanging from its socket and bleeding everywhere he'll say that it's alright and that he'll be ok. I've known a few men who will quickly admit that they don't want any doctor cutting on them no matter what's wrong. As much as I'm "almost" like most guys, I think that's very foolish! My wife not only encouraged me to get a doctor and have physicals done, but also encouraged me to get my prostate checked. The first time I had my prostate checked "digitally" I was like, "Whoa, what the heck–!" What an unpleasant experience! But, trying to be responsible, I had to get it done. But, in October 2006 my church held another free prostate screening and with the loving encouragement of my beautiful bride, I went. As I mentioned in an earlier entry, for the first time I had my blood taken for the PSA test. And that's what revealed it!
Now, my wife has been by my side and supported me throughout our marriage, but this time was much deeper! After the biopsy and diagnosis, she spent hours upon hours of time on the internet daily doing research for me, trying to find the best information for treatment, surgical options, nutrition, survival data based on PSA and Gleason scores, and so on! She actually knows more than I do about prostate cancer, as well as nutrition.
I know I sound a bit partial but my wife is the best cook! Cynthia can come up with a complete meal even when I think there's nothing in the fridge or pantry that will make a snack! She loves to cook and it shows. We later began to splurge a bit (as if we have money to do so) and go shopping for healthy, more organic foods - specifically fruits and veggies! It was sometimes a strain on our bank account, but it was worth it! Like I said before, we didn't go straight vegan or even go totally healthy on our meals, but we did make a big shift. My lunches that I took to work, even though always prepared with much love, were a lot healthier! Dinner began to be so much more guiltless!!!
I praise the Lord Jesus for having the best wife in the world who does so much for me and the kids better than anyone else would or could. I can't imagine having anyone else as my wife. God's providence is perfect and so strategic that for me He has perfectly fashioned and graciously given me the wife of my youth!!! I will write more about her later as the events unfold. I'll close this entry with the best statement to end with --- I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, MRS. STEVEN CRAIG SMITH!!!
First of all, getting married to her made a man out of me! I slowly began to grow through much trial and error - my own, of course. I've learned so much from the Lord through her - mainly how irresponsible I've been and how much of a God-ly man I need to be for her because she needs it and deserves it! And let me tell you that I'm far from perfect!
It is because of her I actually have a doctor! Let's be honest -- most men don't like going to the doctor and actually don't go! If a man's left arm is hanging from its socket and bleeding everywhere he'll say that it's alright and that he'll be ok. I've known a few men who will quickly admit that they don't want any doctor cutting on them no matter what's wrong. As much as I'm "almost" like most guys, I think that's very foolish! My wife not only encouraged me to get a doctor and have physicals done, but also encouraged me to get my prostate checked. The first time I had my prostate checked "digitally" I was like, "Whoa, what the heck–!" What an unpleasant experience! But, trying to be responsible, I had to get it done. But, in October 2006 my church held another free prostate screening and with the loving encouragement of my beautiful bride, I went. As I mentioned in an earlier entry, for the first time I had my blood taken for the PSA test. And that's what revealed it!
Now, my wife has been by my side and supported me throughout our marriage, but this time was much deeper! After the biopsy and diagnosis, she spent hours upon hours of time on the internet daily doing research for me, trying to find the best information for treatment, surgical options, nutrition, survival data based on PSA and Gleason scores, and so on! She actually knows more than I do about prostate cancer, as well as nutrition.
I know I sound a bit partial but my wife is the best cook! Cynthia can come up with a complete meal even when I think there's nothing in the fridge or pantry that will make a snack! She loves to cook and it shows. We later began to splurge a bit (as if we have money to do so) and go shopping for healthy, more organic foods - specifically fruits and veggies! It was sometimes a strain on our bank account, but it was worth it! Like I said before, we didn't go straight vegan or even go totally healthy on our meals, but we did make a big shift. My lunches that I took to work, even though always prepared with much love, were a lot healthier! Dinner began to be so much more guiltless!!!
I praise the Lord Jesus for having the best wife in the world who does so much for me and the kids better than anyone else would or could. I can't imagine having anyone else as my wife. God's providence is perfect and so strategic that for me He has perfectly fashioned and graciously given me the wife of my youth!!! I will write more about her later as the events unfold. I'll close this entry with the best statement to end with --- I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, MRS. STEVEN CRAIG SMITH!!!
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